No more room for another family heirloom?
Did your parents ask you in childhood to love, honor, and cherish…all their stuff… til death do you part? The generation that birthed the baby boomers may have planted the seed of heirloom responsibility while rocking you in the family cradle. Baby boomers took the baton and loaded their homes with Grandma’s quilts, Mom’s snow globe collection, and piled on “stuff” of their own.
Now, Gen X, Gen Y, and Millennials are poised to inherit the possessions of multiple generations. Their typical reaction is to say “no thanks”. They are practicing what parents and grandparents have instructed them to do more with less!
Tiny houses, lofts, and condos are top of mind. Younger adults today embrace minimalism and, in doing so, emulate the way their “grands” lived. This closes a multigenerational circle. Your family members who lived through the Great Depression and World War II were the original “repair and recycle” generation.
Reflection, reminiscence, and reconciliation are integral to the aging process. It is natural for aging family members to convey their pride and love for their children, grandchildren, and others by promising or gifting the possessions they value, such as family heirlooms.
So, how do you help your aging loved ones downsize without family feuds and hurt feelings? Contact an Aging Life Care Professional™ to facilitate emotional family conversations and assist your aging family members with the downsizing process. If possible, older adults should have a say in what happens to their things.
What are a few ways to dispose of belongings while still honoring memories and preserving family history? Photograph the dishes, that chair where all the babies were rocked, the living room furniture that you weren’t allowed to sit on as a child, the quilts, all of it, and make a digital archive or hard copy photo album. Share the album with family. Video or audio-record the stories that the old folks love to tell. Re-purpose items. Select one or two special items in a collection to display in your home. Turn mementos into artwork for others.
Be true to yourself, too. In general, renting a storage unit or loading up your garage with boxes only prolongs hard decisions. Discarding things does not erase family history. Be mindful of the feelings you have as you wrap, sell, store, or save your aging family member’s possessions. That which brings you joy, honor it. That which brings you pain or sadness (or no emotion at all), dispense with it. Try not to fight with your sibling over things. Treat family members with kindness. Be gentle and tender with your aging loved ones, and cherish moments of nostalgia.